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I don’t want to do it again. I’m not feeling brave enough to ask God to show me his heart for another mom I might never meet. 

Standing at the kitchen sink with just an ounce of courage, I ask the question that breaks me every time. “God show me your heart for her,” I whisper and suddenly love rushes over me like a flood. I drop to my knees and weep.

Interceding for expectant mothers is one of the most vulnerable things the Holy Spirit has ever tasked me with. 

I could pray simple prayers like, “God bless her; God give her wisdom; God provide for her,” and I do but that isn’t the only way the Holy Spirit has asked me to pray. 

Each time there is an expectant mom we present our family to, God has invited me to feel his heart for her. Often he will even give me a glimpse of the pain she’s experiencing and the trauma of carrying a baby she cannot parent. I haven’t always yielded to this type of prayer because of the emotional investment required. 

It’s not hard to pray for these mothers and families; it is an honor. But it is hard to attach to them through prayer, love them supernaturally, and then find out they chose another family. We rejoice when each expectant mother finds a family that she wants to raise her child, but we grieve the fact that we won’t ever get to meet the ones we’ve supernaturally grown to love.

Our intercession is most powerful when we are willing to be part of the answer to our prayers. This puts hopeful adoptive parents in a unique position to pray for vulnerable families in a way others cannot. I believe praying for these expectant moms and their babies is the most important assignment prospective adoptive parents have. 

“God, bring this mother a family who will respect and love her unconditionally,” we pray while being willing and wanting to be that family. 

“Jesus, place this baby with parents that will honor their heritage and raise them up in grace and wisdom,” we pray while willing and wanting to be those parents. 

“Lord, surround this family with a dependable support system and cover them with financial provision,” we pray while willing and wanting to be that support system. 

Our hearts knit to these mamas and babies in prayer and then get pulled apart when we receive the email that says, “Your family was not chosen.”

Through the pulling God is preparing us. Our heartache lasts only a brief time because we trust that He has answered our prayers just in a different way than we had hoped. 

When the next profile is delivered to us, I will pray for the courage to get attached. Even if it is just for a short time, again. 

And while it is not about me, it is changing me. Perhaps more than any other assignment the Holy Spirit has ever given me. So I will keep being brave… for her and for me.